Short change shorts.

9 and a half.

awissman — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:46:17 +0000

hi. eight. us.

hiatus.

A Wissman never forgets…permanently anyway.

half the calories, twice the taste.

awissman — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 20:37:01 +0000

She was diet Medusa. Every time I glanced upon her I came to be infected with pink eye.

a quarter and a couple pennies

adagat — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 00:18:25 +0000

lightning light strikes off pools of water in dirty pots and soap bubbles, and the water magnifies the metal reflection of rust in a belated, pulsing flash.

one dime one nickel and one penny

david — Fri, 23 May 2008 22:45:53 +0000

[think about it]

The rise in childhood depression is directly connected to the decline in the Mcdonalds ‘happy meal.’

[david]

two quarters a dime and two pennies

david — Thu, 08 May 2008 03:47:34 +0000

[99 cent lunch]

They said the KFC snacker was only 99 cents. That was good news as I only had a dollar, but when I went to purchase my lunch, the cashier rang up $1.07. Apparently the commercial didn’t factor in tax. No lunch for me. That’s the last time I ever listen to a commercial. ooo look a knife that can cut through a shoe…

[david]

two dollars two quarters four pennies

david — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:43:33 +0000

[Watch out Hannah Montana, a new Young Star is on the Rise]

BRANSON(DP)- Millionaire Success Smirnoff was born to semi-heard-of comedian Yakov Smirnoff. He was named Millionaire Success because his parents believed he would later become a successful millionaire.
He is better know as Matvey Chernyshyov, or Mathew Cherny for short. He started singing as an opening act for his father’s comedy routine in Branson Missouri. His first acting gig was at the age of nine in his father’s short lived Branson public television show entitled “In Soviet Russia TV watches you!”

Smirnoff was thirteen years old when he auditioned for Nickelodeon for the lead role of Matvey Chernyshyov/Yuri Missouri, as well as the show’s “best friend” roles, and Nickelodeon executives loved him. Nickelodeon called him back for further auditions. According to Nickelodeon Executive Vice President Jerry Murphy, Smirnof was chosen for the show because Nickelodeon really needed someone to compete with Hannah Montana and Yuri Missouri was the only name they could come up with that also rhymed with a state.

Smirnoff became an overnight sensation after he was cast in Yuri Missouri. Following the success of the show, in 2007 Nickelodeon released a soundtrack featuring 6 songs that he sang. He is currently scheduled to go on tour in 2008, and will release a theatrical version of the tour for parents who are unable to obtain high priced tickets from ebay and scalpers. He is also currently working on his autobiography, entitled “In America, A Son of a Semi-Heard-Of Comedian Can Become a Millionaire Real Easy” set to hit book stores next year.

Disassociated press

[david]

two dimes and four pennies

david — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 05:01:33 +0000

[Buy It Now!]

If you buy this product women will want to have sex with you, guaranteed!*

*We do not guarantee that the woman will be hot…

[david]

two dimes

david — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 22:38:03 +0000

["from my cold, dead hands"]

Charlton Heston passed away on Saturday, the next day they finally took his gun away, from his cold, dead hands.

[david]

nickel and dime.

awissman — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 05:45:52 +0000

I met a man who jumped a tree. He didn’t even call shotgun for the ride home.

awissman

two quarters a nickel and four pennies

david — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 02:44:55 +0000

[Jumped the shark...]

“That date was awful,” she said. “You’ve just been going downhill since our 3rd anniversary.You were cooler three years ago, but now you’re just not funny at all. I didn’t laugh once during our last date! I had high hopes for this year, but you’re just totally disappointing. I used to love you, but now you’re past your prime. “

[people on imdb message boards ruin everything]

[david]